Butterflies......

Everywhere I turn I am followed by silent wings that flutter close to my face...waving brilliant colors I can barely describe, reflecting light and catching the swells of weightless waves from a sea of mist and cloud. There can be no mistake....I am being transformed....I stood silent today in a plain parking lot of a common grocery store, loading my things into the back of our van....the butterfly directly in front of me, rust and gold waving her wings to encourage my heart. Yes there is no mistake the Lord's words to me. I never would have believed these signs as a younger woman. But here I am forty and I have become a child.....Since that class so many weeks ago about the sphenoid bone, the butterfly behind my eyes the message comes clearer and clearer....like the lenses in an eye doctors office when you go for new glasses with each click I see new perspective, new meaning. My birthday came to me in an unusual way....some dear friends planned a precious outing for me, and at that supper one of my friends presented me with this necklace of beauty. A bright blue butterfly covered in sea green jewels. Then cards came one after another and the butterflies fluttered in with nearly each one. No one had known what Father was whispering to me....I could have cried a river of tears.... I have been praying for encouragement in my life. Somehow I had forgotten my purpose. Another sister that has walked with me closer than anyone, took me to a downtown restaurant called the Red Room. Even now I dream of that night. The glowing walls and the slow conversation unhurried, the unique food. Then as she was driving me home, I looked out my window to a wall painted on a building downtown and there was beautiful butterflies floating suspended in their flight....Father whispering, reminding me....transformation....I went home and fell into a deep sleep....I dreamed I went into this dark tiny closet room....darkness so thick you could not see your hand in front of your face...my heart pounded....I started shaking the door screaming for help.....crying for help....helpless....an unseen hand felt internally came down and crushed the door knob....I was undone....lost.....I used all my energy trying to escape that prison, that torment....exhausted I came to the end of my strength. I began to cry out to Jesus....Please help me Jesus and as soon as His name was off my lips that impenetrable door was burst open, this profound light chased the darkness away and David was waiting for me and laughing....I awoke. All around me I am hearing a voice. The voice of my Daddy, my heavenly Father who will not allow me to stay the same because He loves me so very much. A Father who truly loves His children will not allow them to live in mediocrity. So everywhere I look I see them, these literal reminders of what I am to become. I am in transition in that cocoon now where it is dark...... and if I am honest I am afraid; and yet there is expectation and joy of what is to come. I have not lived so long as to dismiss these events as foolish or long enough to see the end events unfold but I am so thankful for this journey. So thankful I am being reminded on a very regular basis that I have not been forgotten. My wings are being formed in this dark place, my colors brushed on by the master artist Himself. I am wrapped up tight and growing waiting to come forth from that cocoon , spread my wings and take my flight.....How I love you Lord. Thank you for remembering me, honoring me and touching my heart the way you do.....Tanya